So if it can be avoided, I’ll do whatever it takes. But still, with the odd jobs I’ve been doing, I’ve given him every single cent I make. His last drunken brawl with me did not bode him well. Years of drinking have left him with a bloated belly and sagging muscles. Because now that I’m no longer a scrawny teenager, I can do more damage than him. He has never hurt either of us unprovoked. I watch until she closes the door behind her and I hear the telltale scrape of her dresser being shoved against the door. It will be okay.” I push her gently in the direction of her room. Her head is down, but I can see the wetness on her lashes. I yank Mia out of the way and save her from a skull fracture, just in time. He slams the room door closed as soon as we step through it. I pull Mia up by her hand and move us around him, keeping my eye on him always. I look at her when Mia grabs hold of my hand and gives it a hard squeeze. Except the bear isn’t asleep, just very drunk. She doesn’t want to poke the sleeping bear with a stick. You kids run along to bed now,” Mom says gently. If he wants to start a fight, even Mia could push him over. I can tell he won’t make any trouble tonight. “Get the fuck out!” he shouts, stumbling through the door. “Oh look, the cavalry is all here.” He makes a general sweep of the room with his arm. Mom has never had a bad word for either of us, and we have tested those limits countless times.Īll three heads turn towards the door when we hear him enter the room. Her mouth is always pressed into a hard line. But there is a sadness there that will never go away. Yet she carries all her life lessons on her face. How can I be sure I won’t turn out like him? Can I really do to Jenna what he does to Mom? I guess what I’m saying is I get how someone can feel in love with her. We’ve been friends since we were snotty-nosed kids running around playing cops and robbers. I’ve had girlfriends before, but none of them made me want to burst into song. I don’t believe in love or in being in love. Admittedly, she was a little freaked out, but not convinced that love is evil. Not because he made a grab at her, but because her fairy-tale date was ruined. When her first date was botched by that asshole Christopher Thorn, she was so upset. Even though she experiences the truth about love and how it can break you every day, she still believes in everybody having their soul mate. She is filled with hope for the world even if she experiences the dark in it every day. If you say his name he will know where you are. Mia believed that by saying his name, you made him real. Mia and I made a pact when we were kids to never say his name out loud. What is there to say? We can speculate and say it will be okay, but we know it won’t. We just sit there on the bed, staring at each other. This is her defense mechanism-if you keep completely still, the hunter sometimes misses the prey. Mia lets out a small breath and whispers softly, “Mom?” Mom stirs in the bed and looks up at us with a small smile on her face. Her door is slightly open, and it’s dark inside. I grab Mia by the hand and lead her through the dark passage to Mom’s room. There’s a slight hitch in her voice, and I remember Dad’s voice saying, “Take care of your family, Kyle”. I should probably have said that in a better way, built her up to it. Her eyes go big, and her bottom lip trembles a little. “He’s drunk again.” I don’t need to explain. I shrug it off when I see her solemn face and fall down on the bed next to her. I can’t stop the chuckle escaping my throat. “Damn it, Kyle! You scared the hell out of me.” Her face is red and flustered and hilarious as hell. The earphones stuck in her ears, blocking the sound of my approaching footsteps. She is lying on her bed with her eyes closed. I leave him with that thought and climb the stairs to my little sister’s room. “Where the fuck have you been?” he slurs. I would kill him if I could, but I wouldn’t mean much to Mom and Mia if my ass is in jail. I hate how much power he has over this house. I walk through the dimly lit house towards the kitchen. I can smell him all the way from the front door.